Most of us have high hopes for the holiday season and the coming New Year. We all long to be connected with the people that we love. We make thoughtful gift purchases, we plan special meals, we see people we haven’t seen often in about a year. When things are extra busy, and there’s traveling, shopping, parties, cooking and family matters on your mind, it’s challenging in maintaining a healthy mindset. Stress can derail your attitude and make this time of year feel less miraculous and more demanding.

Tips for a Healthy Holiday

Getting your mind in the right space will allow you to enjoy the holidays and focus on the people you love. Here are seven habits to get you started on that path.

1. Take Time to Reflect

We live in a culture of constant “connectivity”, not so much connectedness, more like constant distraction. We’re always expected to be “on,” we’re always moving to the next big thing, and too many of us tie our self-worth to our to-do list.

Our brains need time to unwind and even to play in order to process events, feelings, and thoughts. Unfortunately, very few of us set aside time to be still and reflect. We need time to be alone, turn off our devices, and just think.

Here are three practical ways to make self reflection a habit. Even just five minutes a day will make a huge difference!

  • Meditate – There are so many health benefits to meditation. You can check out he many videos on YouTube about meditating. The basics are just sitting comfortably and allowing your mind to follow your breath.
  • Journal – Journaling is a healthy habit that lets you connect with your inner self. You don’t have to be a great writer or make a lot of sense to journal. Start writing a few lines or paragraphs about your day—the highs, the lows, the people you talked to, and the things you accomplished. You can also use a “hot pen” exercise, write as quickly as possible, about any subject that comes to mind. Let loose on those emotions. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
  • Review your year – Look over your calendar or pictures and think about the past year. Note your growing pains, good & bad, the big moments of change and transition. Just reviewing all that happened this year will help you focus on the things that matter.

2. Say Goodbye to Negative Self-Talk

As you pay attention to your thoughts, you might notice some less than constructive, judgemental patterns developing. You can leave negative self-talk behind and start the New Year with a fresh mindset. Replace less than constructive, judgemental patterns and critical self-talk with a genuine curiosity as to where it comes from and ask yourself if it’s true. Let go of the drive to be perfect and the need to perform all the time.

Our brains have a “negativity bias,” meaning negative events or feelings typically have a more significant impact on our psychological state than positive events or feelings, even when they are of equal proportion. Since we tend toward negativity, we have to work intentionally to identify and get rid of the negative dialogue that’s happening in our heads.

 3. Get Ready for the Difficult Moments

The holidays bring their fair share of stress. One of the biggest headaches can come from spending time with family. You might have some serious tension or disagreements with family members. Instead of running away from those challenges, shift your mindset and see them as opportunities for growth. Recognize how you can grow as a person by speaking your mind and making progress to improve your relationships, instead of damaging them, by having honest conversations. Set time limits for those potential volatile relationships and have an exit strategy if needed.

4. Give Thanks

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to end when the turkey and the stuffing are gone. We can carry the spirit of gratitude throughout the Holidays and into the New Year.  There are plenty of good things in our lives—we must be intentional about looking for them.

5. Spend Time With People Who Lift You Up

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Be intentional about the people you see over the holidays. You don’t have to say yes to every party invitation. With that said, you’re not the average of the FIVE people you surround with. It’s way bigger than that. You’re the average of all the people who surround you. So take a look around and make sure you’re in the right surroundings.

Two researchers (James H Fowler & Nicholas A Christakis) found that happy friends make you happier — no surprise there.But if your friend of a friend of a friend is happy with their life, then you have a 6 percent greater likelihood of being happy yourself. Now six percent might not seem like much, but consider that other studies suggest that if I gave you a $10,000 raise, that would only trigger about a 2 percent increase in your happiness.

6. Serve Your Community

Nothing will give you satisfaction like being connected with purpose. If you’re having a tough time getting out of a negative mental state, get your focus off yourself and give back to your community.

Here are a few ways you could serve this holiday season:

  • Help kids in the foster care system. Many of those kids might not get Christmas gifts this year—unless someone like you decides to donate something. Get in touch with your local foster care system and see what you can do!
  • Serve a meal in a homeless shelter. Spending time with the poor and the marginalized will help you get your eyes off yourself. You can volunteer in a soup kitchen or offer to bring a meal to a family in need.
  • Clean up some trash. If you’re passionate about stewarding the earth, then organize a group of friends to do a local trash walk and clean up a certain part of the city.
  • Give back to your church or a local non-profit. December is a popular time for all sorts of service projects, toy drives, and opportunities to spend time with people in need. Find an organization you’re passionate about, check out their website, or give them a call. Ask how you can help. They’ll find something for you to do!

7. Laugh, Sing, and be Merry

As adults, we often need to be reminded to play, to reach inward for that childlike wonder that keeps the world fresh and exciting. But the psychological benefits are worth it.

Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.

Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.

Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

Laughter burns calories. Okay, so it’s no replacement for going to the gym, but one study found that laughing for 10 to 15 minutes a day can burn approximately 40 calories—which could be enough to lose three or four pounds over the course of a year.

Laughter lightens anger’s heavy load. Nothing diffuses anger and conflict faster than a shared laugh. Looking at the funny side can put problems into perspective and enable you to move on from confrontations without holding onto bitterness or resentment.

Laughter may even help you to live longer. A study in Norway found that people with a strong sense of humor outlived those who don’t laugh as much. The difference was particularly notable for those battling cancer.

Your mindset will move into an incredibly positive and joyful state. Look for healthy ways to have fun and unwind during the holiday season.

Take care of yourself so you can truly enjoy the holidays. Don’t be afr

aid to say “no” when you need to focus on re-adjusting your mindset. Your thoughts shape your reality, so make sure it’s the reality you want to live.